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Articles: My Experience | Love is a magnet; Approach it or get away from it
- Mrs. sharmila Sanka
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That which is born without a warning, which remains for ever like mother’s care towards her child, that which is ready to kill or die, that which attracts two beings at any distance is called ‘Love’ which is the ruling power in the world. Love is like a knife which is capable of killing oneself or the other for its sake. It is sharp enough like a knife to hurt anything that comes its way until it reaches its destination.
When two persons of different gender meet, some of them are infatuated, some of them fall in Love, some of them are immersed in thrill as well as fear. The ones who fear love are in a very tempting situation to experience the sweetness of love as well as scared to face the consequences of Love. They either have to step back from temptation or move forward erasing fear out of their hearts. They should never encourage a wavering mind.
Some youngsters get easily attracted by some one at the very first moment and they name this ‘Love at first sight’ and assume they have fallen in love and that their love is true as it comes under the title-‘Love at first sight.’ The mere touch of the loved one touches his heart and he seems to be experiencing heaven on earth. There seems to be nothing more interesting than his present feelings towards his loved one. Every moment he thinks of her, where ever he goes be it a motion picture, journey, when he is all alone trying to admire the nature his beloved is reminded. Approach occupies the most important place in the kingdom of Love. He feels like approaching her any moment. Time and place do not really matter to him or her. He can spend hours together thinking of her and can taste the honey of love the moment he thinks of her. His feelings of love can never be expressed in words and he feels like describing about his loved one to his close friends but often he fails because of his feelings dominating his fluency of language. In the case of infatuation, the lovers often think of the present and the near future but never their future far ahead of them. They want the moments to be more pleasing and loving which fail them to think of their future. The infatuated ones frequently postpone the term ‘Marriage’ and keep passing the days in the name of love. The term infatuation itself explains that the feeling they have is temporary and never permanent. Attraction is human, but to use discrimination is much more human. So wise people who are in love should determine if they truly are in Love.
True love doesn’t mean it doesn’t have attraction but attraction is not true love. It is said, Love is blind. But remember it is love that is blind; not the lovers. If you question your future with the lover, about the consequences you face after your love is revealed to elders, about the loved one’s caste, religion and community it is not true love- thus assume many youngsters. But to cut the roots at the beginning is better than strengthen the roots with water of love for days or years and then hack them off due to parents’ refusal. Love is sometimes very sudden but be matured enough. Before you imagine yourself to experience the love, give some thought about your future as well as your elders’ reaction. Only you know your parents well, so determine for yourself if they will be able to accept your love, your loved one in to their lives and home. Youngsters think their parents are very timid and they are scared about the society they live in. But even you will become timid and think of the society after you are married with your loved one. When years pass by, it is then you assume you have made a mistake and start trusting the society than your loved one. Before marriage, you see only your love and nothing else and it is then you think love is powerful but more than love, your infatuation is more powerful as your love is blind.
When you feel the first pangs of love, give a stop before wandering in the dream land of love. Give a thought for few days or months. Keep your family in view before taking the decision to start loving that person. If you feel your parents can take it in, go ahead. If you feel you can give happiness to her all her life, go ahead. If you feel you can accept her, her behaviour and her mentality, then go ahead. At last if you feel yours is not infatuation but true love, then go ahead. True love is selfless and if you have that selfless love towards her, go ahead.
On the other hand, if you feel your parents can never accept her as their daughter-in-law, think about it. If you feel your love is infatuation, stop there. If you feel she is beautiful outside but not at heart, think deeply about it. If your minds do not go together but you still feel they go in one direction, it is due to infatuation and not love.
At the beginning of your love chapter of life, if her direction and way of thinking are different, you take pride in her independence. But after marriage, if she continues it, you say she is egoistic. If she mingles with your friends, you think she is friendly to all but after marriage if she continues doing that you doubt the same person. If she says a word against your parents before marriage, you support her and her love but if the same happens after marriage, you control her asking her to be in her limits. Before marriage you wait for hours, months and years to be one with her. But once she is one with you after marriage, you go far away in the name of freedom. Before marriage, you appear to be the most understanding person in the whole world of hers but after marriage you become the least tolerable person as you lack understanding which is one of the pillars of a married life. You trust her ability before marriage but after marriage you start pointing at her disability. Caste and religion do not matter for you before marriage, but once you are married, they stand at the topmost position in your married life. She seems to be an obstruction to the rituals of your caste and religion.
If caste and religion do not matter to you, then act as per your heart. Be daring enough to convince your parents that caste and religion are not hindrances for the union of two souls. If you agree, you can remain the same before and after marriage, if you feel you are in love with her soul and not her beauty, if you trust in your loved one truly, if you feel you can walk on the path of happiness and sorrow of life with her in equal serenity, if you feel you can convince your parents that your choice is wise, it is then go ahead and let your love wind your heart and family. If you are not daring enough to convince your parents, please do not ruin another life. You can be forgiven for your action as a child but not a daughter-in-law. Keep all these in mind and then act. Falling in love is easy but to ever live in love is not. It involves lots of troubles and pain. But still go ahead if you feel at heart that your love is true.
Love is a magnet. If you are a daring iron piece, approach it. If you are a timid person of love, get away from it, for it is a whirlpool of attraction and magnetism. A timid person can only fall in love, he cannot fulfil his love. It takes multiple lives to get you out of it. Loved one is flexible but not true Love. Love marriages are fashionable in the present day but not Love as it is eternal and divine. It remains true for ever. Love is like the water, it takes the form of the vessel called human mind. Love is revered and refused depending on the person who bears it in his or her heart. Treat it with respect and it will let you take pride in it. So you decide if you have the capability to live your love or timid enough to refuse love. The only difference between Love marriage and Arranged marriage is- you dig your own pit of responsibility in the former where as in the latter, parents dig your pit. Who ever digs the pit, you are the ultimate bearer of the consequences. So you are the driver of your car. Whether you involve yourself in untold accidents or whether you drive safely and reach your destination is in your hands.
True Love lets you live in love and lets you love your loved one for ever. - - - Sharmila Sanka
“A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak.”
- Michael Garrett Marino
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