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Articles: Humour | Puzzles
- Prof. venkata ramanamurty mallajosyula
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JOKES-HUMOR-RIDDLES-PUZZLES
1.during a particular hearing of women issue related case, he court - room was in chaos. All ladies who were present ignored the repeated requests of the presiding judge to maintain silence.
Finally, the judge thundered”, All cultured and sensible ladies are requested to leave the court- room immediately,”
After some time as none of the ladies moved, the judge said, ”Now that all cultured ladies have moved out. Security marshals, please, remove these remaining unruly women!”
2.Prabhakar asked the palmist: Please read my hand sir.
Palmist (reading Prabhakar’s palm) Wow, you have beautiful lines. Within 15days you will acquire fortune and your wife will deliver four girls. Hand me fees-Rs 100/-.
Prabhakar: This is so low a sum. Whatever fortune I will acquire, I will equally share with you, I will also hand over one of my daughter’s hand in marriage to you. OK, are you happy now?
3.Husband:I have found a job with a good pay, excellent perks, free lunches and offering lots of holidays.
Wife: That’s great!
Husband: I knew that you would like it. Do one thing start off from tomorrow.
4.What did the dentist say to the judge?
I will pull the tooth, but the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
5.Why are some girls like salad?
Because they need a lot of dressing.
6.What can run and whistle but can neither walk nor talk?
Locomotive.
7.A woman had 5 children, Half of them were boys. How could it be?
The other boys were also boys.
8.Why did they have to put a fence around the cemetery”?
Because so many people were dying to get it.
9.Where is the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
10What odd number will be even if you take away S from it?
SEVEN.
11.Tongue twister:
A skunk sat on a stump
The stump thunk the skunk stunk
The skunk thunk stump stunk
12, Did Peter piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers
13.Bisquick – kiss quick
14,The sun shines on the shop signs.
15 .She sawed six slick sleek, slim, slender sapling.
16.Chinese quote: Behind everyman there are always able men.
17.Phony Finales
Napoleons last words: Make mine a short bier.
Composer’s last words: The bach stops here.
Trostky’s last words: The end is incite.
Epitaph for Icarus: Don’t be a sore loser.
Final tribute to Pavlova: She’s out of this whirl.
18.what is brought to the table and cut, but never eaten?
Deck of cards.
19. A donkey was tied to a rope of 6 feet long and he wanted to eat hay thsat was 28 feet away, How could he eat it?
Easily. His rope was not tied to any thing.
20.In which month do women speak least?
February.- because it is the shortest month.
- Prof:Venkata Ramanamurty Mallajosyula
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