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Articles: Humour | How to kill a Lion
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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ICICI method :
Hire a lion, give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary. Restructure his job, position, boss, collegues, designation, location every 6 months.
Remove all lions above 40 from the organisation or rename them 'Goats'. If he kills 2 goats a day, give him target of killing 20 elephants a day, when there are just 10 elephants in the jungle. Lion dies of exhaustion, overkill and restructuring.
HDFC method :
Hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat. Give him lots of ESOPs and grass to eat. He will die eventually of hope and starvation.
Citi method :
Hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if
he doesn't score > 60% he will lose the job. Ask him to extract 60 kg meat out of a 40 kg goat. Lion dies of the strain?
ABN AMRO method :
Hire the lion, Either give him no work or ask for a premature delivery. Lion either dies of boredom or intense physical & mental activity...
IDBI method :
Hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat... Show him suspense thriller 'Reverse merger of your Jungle - Part III' the lion dies before joining....
Bank of America method :
Hire a lion, give him job of grass eating (MIS).. the lion dies from lack of eating meat...
Stan C method :
Hire a lion, give him net access.. no work.. and deport him to Chennai center... no water.. no electricity.. no Hindi speaking ppl... lion dies in oblivion....
DCB Method :
Hire a lion.....(thats it...)
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