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Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ~~~~~~ A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, 'Order, order.' The drunkard immediately responded, 'Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda.' ~~~~~~~ Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs? Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone. ~~~~~~ Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste? Customer : No, I can't. Waiter : Then does it really matter? ~~~~~~ Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, 'Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!' 'That's great, Sweetheart,' said her daddy. 'Come in to the living room and tell me about it.' 'Well, 'began the confession, 'I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science.' ~~~~~~ Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup. Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers. ~~~~~~ Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much. ~~~~~~ Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card. ~~~~~~~~~ Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? ~~~~~~~

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